Ok, so before I add my political blog that I promised, I wanted to post something that made me laugh.  The laugh hurt like fucking hell, however, because I’ve come down with a nasty case of tonsillitis. Yeah, I’ve been pissed at the throat gods for this one today.  Oh well.

Ok, if you were in London last week and just happened to be in, near, or part of the Global Illumination Initiative at the London Tower, you might have noticed one of two things.

A.) That the $250 plate fee wasn’t worth the grub on it.

B.) Elizabeth Hurley has the most incredible hug magnets ever.

Global Illumination was designed to raise public awareness of breast cancer.  What they do is cast a pink glow over some of the world’s most prominent landmarks, monuments and wonders.  Then of course they party it up like it’s New Years Eve.  Obviously it’s a pretty high-class sort of gathering, but that doesn’t mean it’s not done with good intent.

Naturally people like Elizabeth Hurley like to rub it in the faces of tumored chested women everywhere that she still has a massive set of hug magnets by strapping them in near pornographic positions and flaunting it as if she’s 19.  I think the message Hurley is really trying to send to women is, “Hahaha, I can still squeeze my tits and not feel pain.  Sucks to be the rest of you.”  Seriously, Elizabeth, it’s breast cancer awareness, not a fashion show.  Have some respect for the one-tittied women around the globe, bitch.

Ok, now from the manly perspective.  Damn.  Just seeing the photos of her strapped down like a 4wheeler on a trailer makes me wonder if I gained weight or my pants just shrank.  Obviously through all my research and snooping, I could not find any epic win to go with the pressed sweater hams.  No nip slip, no areola slip, nothing.  Don’t judge me, it’s my fucking duty as a man to point that shit out, I’d be gay if I didn’t.  But I did managed to find one gem amongst the gallery.

The man in the pinstripe is obviously making sure that Elizabeth doesn’t have anything in her teeth.  And the man in the back, with the silver collar, is thinking about his $250 plate of wheat, seaweed and uncooked sea urchin.  There’s no thought in my mind that would suggest that either of those men are thinking about anything but that.  I mean seriously, what else could they be oogling and drooling at?