As I sit here, drenched in sweat, I wonder to myself if this is what a Thanksgiving turkey feels like. Although, if you cooked a full turkey at 103.5f, you’d probably end up with some rubbery shit. Then I continue my pondering and begin reciting the Happy Days theme in my head. ARGH! I’m fucking humming this song!

But I’m conflicted. TV sucks and I want to be able to watch shows such as Happy Days, M.A.S.H. and Bugs Bunny cartoons on more regular basis. Even “TVLand” sucks now, playing Fresh Prince, Family Matters and Full House. I could give a shit less about coke whores, Will Smith or any of those fat fucks with the piece of shit, annoying neighbor. If you ask me, there should have been a drive-by on Urkel’s house every fucking episode. Someone would be bound to hit that fucker.

I’m ordering renting downloading a couple seasons of each right now, I’ll let you know how pumped I am if I don’t die of heat exhaustion first.